The Great Brain Robbery

Start: Begin by talking to Brother Tranquility, in Mos Le'Harmless.
Skills: 16 Crafting, 30 Construction, 50 Prayer, the ability to kill a level 190 monster without using prayer and access to a POH workshop.
Quests: Creature of Fenkenstrain, Cabin Fever, Recipe for Disaster (only the completion of the Pirate Pete part is needed)
What You Need : Diving Helmet, Diving Apparatus, at least 38 nails, 18 normal planks, a hammer, holy symbol (blessed), 10 pieces of fur (bear or gray wolf fur, no hunting ones), Ring of Charos.
Recommended Items : Ectophial, Kharyll teleports, good food.


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Getting Started

Enter Port Phasmatys, and let Bill Teach bring you to Mos Le'Harmless. As soon as you disembark, you'll find Brother Tranquility waiting for you, just outside the docks.


Talk to him, and he'll tell you about a problem in the island he lives in, called Harmony. Accept to help, and you'll be teleported to the monk's island - with a magic spell this time, and not via a blunt thump on the back of your head like you've experienced on Braindeath Island more times than what's desirable.

Harmony Landing

As soon as you get there, you'll notice that something isn't quite right - the monks are, in fact, all zombie-like! Tranquility will ask you to find out what's the zombie pirates' plan, led by a villain by the name of Mi-Gor, and he'll send you out. Beware of the level-57 aggressive zombies as soon as you get out. They don't hit too hard, but they can be quite the annoyance, not to mention their obvious stench.

Go north, and pull the statue of Saradomin that stands just north of the allotment patch.


You'll need your diving helmet and your diving apparatus you used in Recipe For Disaster. If you've lost them, or, most likely, threw them away to save bank space, you can reclaim them from Murphy, the sailor in Port Khazard. Climb down the hole, and enter the watery section below the monastery, and then you'll see stairs needing repair to climb back up. Repair them using 10 nails (any kind; the better the merrier) and 4 planks (normal ones), along with a hammer, and climb up to the monastery, in a small and secluded room.


Peer through the peephole that is there, and you'll overhear that Mi-Gor will be "down below" for a while - and he'll ask about how the gas production on the island is going on - one of the Sorebones will say that there are a few problems slowing down its production, but that the plan will go on as needed. You'll hear about a thing called "The Box" too, that scares Sorebones to, err, hmm, death.


Every Breath Is Sacred

Go back to Brother Tranquility and tell him everything. He'll then mention an ancient prayer book, used to ward against poisons and gases, that is in Edgeville Monastery, and he'll ask you to bring it to him.


The book is located in the south-west bookcase of the Monastery. Search the book case and you'll get the book. Then read it afterwards. You'll need 50 prayer points to read the prayer out loud on the island, so recharge your prayer at the altar upstairs before you exit.


You'll need a Holy Symbol to recite the prayer - craft it and bless it, or buy it - then wear it. Go back to Brother Tranquility, who will ask you if you said 'the words' before reading it; you'll, of course, ask "what words?" because Tranquility forgot to tell you. Oh well, let's hope that the locusts didn't do too much damage... after all you can't really ask a semi-zombified creature to remember everything.., can you?

Get teleported to Harmony, and right click on the book to recite the prayer, because the sleeping gas is already starting to come in.



After you recite the prayer, DON'T go out without your helmet and diving apparatus, or you'll go to sleep and the monks will have to save you by the skin of (your) teeth. Then speak again to Brother Tranquility and you'll decide on the course of actions - you'll need to bring Doctor Fenkenstrain there to bring the monks' brains into the right bodies. Yuck. How can you convince him? Well, just tell him that there's a werewolf-free island for him..easy, isn't it?

Werewolves, hardy cats and smuggling humans

Take a hike to his castle northeast of Canifis, and tell him Tranquility's proposal. Of course, he'll accept - but he's reluctant to the use of teleporting (he says he's allergic to it), and the werewolves have a good sense of smell - they'd recognize him if he was to walk outside. So he tells you about Rufus' meat shipments, and that he can smuggle himself in one of those. Go to Canifis', err, downtown, and talk to Rufus.


As a member of the canine species (even if overgrown, shape shifting, and all that jazz), he'll be very curious about the shipment you're sending.


He'll later come (on his own) to the conclusion that you'll be sending cats...yes, of course! Cats! That's what we were thinking about in the beginning... weren't we? As soon as you get outside the meat shop, you'll get a wondrous idea! Fake cats instead of live ones! Great, isn't it.


You'll need 1 fur and 1 plank for each fake cat (10 of each in total), and you can make them in any POH, on a Clockmaker's Bench. If you need furs, you can buy them in Varrock Square or in Ardougne Market.

Make ten fake cats, and then bring at least 28 nails (20 for the crate, 8 for the false bottom. Bring some more in case some nails bend, especially if they're bronze or iron), 4 normal planks, your hammer and the crate pieces, and make the crate on the building spot near Doctor Fenkenstrain, adding the false bottom shortly after.


Fill the crate with your fake cats, and talk to the Doctor again. He'll tell you he's ready, so blow your wolf whistle.


There'll be a cutscene in which you trick Rufus into thinking that the cats are alive and well apart from being slightly afraid (in fact, they're as stiff as wood), and he'll agree to ship the crate. After the cutscene is up, just use the shipping order with the crate, and the crate will be teleported to its destination. Wait a second, wasn't the Doctor allergic to teleports? Oops. Hopefully all is well.

Brain Swap

Get to Harmony by talking to Tranquility, who'll tell you that your poor cats were stolen by pirates (Arr ye land lubbers, thar be meowling abound), but the Doctor is still alive and well. He'll say that the passage you used earlier is not available anymore, because the zombies found it out and closed it.


Visit him, downstairs in the windmill. He'll ask for some... unusual objects, such as a cranial clamp , a pair of brain tongs , three bell jars , and at least thirty skull staples - and a hammer. But it looks like there's a ship around, so the plan is: get some gunpowder, and then blow up the front door. John Woo would shed a tear in pride.

Go to the northernmost part of the island, and enter the ship. Climb the ladder, pick up the tinderbox if you don't have one already, and pick up a keg from beside the cannons. Climb back down, and open the locker. It contains some fuse, so pick it up. Use the keg and the fuse with the Monastery door, then use your tinderbox with the fuse... kaboom! That's SO going to end up on our repairs' budget.

Get in the monastery, and kill some of the Sorebones. You just need to kill four, and you'll get the items you need (one will drop the cranial clamp, one the brain tongs, one the bell jars, one the skull staples). Then, get back to the Doc. He'll take your items, and he'll ask you to help with the... operation.

A terribly messy, bloody and carnageous scene ensues - but the kind Jagex folks replaced it with a soothing picture of a kitten. Awwww.


When all is done, go upstairs and talk to the monks.

Ultimate Showdown

Brother Tranquility will tell you that the battle against Mi-Gor's bodyguard will be fierce, so be prepared. You can't use prayer, so be aware of this; let him teleport you to the island to resupply. Go inside the monastery when you're ready, and confront Mi-Gor.


Barrelchest is level 190, can hit up to 30, and his weapon acts like a halberd over the pews, so there are no safe spots. Poison works, and he completely drains prayer with every hit, so you have no chance of using prayer.


Once you have killed him, pick up his anchor, and talk to Brother Tranquility. He'll ask you what happened, and he'll question you about a noise, like... locusts. Oops.




Quest Complete!


Rewards

Barrelchest Anchor - A two-handed weapon, crushing attack, picture below.
Blessed Lamp - gives 5000 XP in a skill of your choice.
Prayer Book - cures poison when you recite the prayer.
6,000 Prayer, 3,000 Crafting and 2,000 Construction experience.
Use of the allotment patch in front of the monastery
2 Quest Points